Friday, September 11, 2009

9/11

This is a tough one to tackle.  I will try to be as honest, candid, and respectful as possible.

8 years ago, we saw the biggest landmarks in New York get struck by passenger planes, killing thousands of unsuspecting people and leaving a scar in the city.  "Terrorism" to me before that was a problem that people had in other countries.  Little did I realize that it would become an iconic and symbolic word for this decade in American history.

Well before these attacks, there was broadcast evidence of Osama Bin Laden's plans, to strike at the very heart of American life.  The strike was stronger than any of us knew at the time.  Bin Laden's intention was to throw American citizens into a paranoid tailspin and to devastate the country's economy - to alienate us from the rest of the world.

It's hard to point to a cause for anything, especially something as complex as the state of affairs in a whole country the size of the United States.  But it does seem that what a lot of Bin Laden predicted and threatened has manifested itself.  I find this disturbing.  It seemed to me early on that the attack had broken the bubble of safety we had all imagined surrounded us.  It now seems that we were also floating in that bubble and have fallen back down to Earth, worse for the wear.

The way the government responded to this assault, right or wrong, it doesn't matter for this argument, definitely did a lot to make people terrified.  Making statements warning people to not go out into public places like malls, increasing police presence everywhere, going over airline passengers with a fine toothed comb.  It made it so you could not help but be worried about your safety in places where you used to be totally comfortable.  

And, sure enough, people did not make it out to malls and stores in the same numbers.  Retail stores definitely took a hit that year, at the most critical time of year for them.  First economic effect of the attack.  I can't go through the last 8 years of history and speculate as to what led to what, and I wouldn't here even if I could.  Let me at least say though, that by the time 2002 came around, we became embroiled in a poorly planned and poorly executed war in Iraq - destroying priceless Iraqi cultural symbols and historical institutions, killing tens of thousands,  and costing American taxpayers at least a trillion dollars.  It continues today.

I am tempted to rant about all the ethical horrors that the Bush administration sponsored, but as with the economy, the details of this war and this cheap manipulation of voters are not the subject of this essay.  Dick Cheney shot someone in the face and got off scot free.

We are still feeling the effects of this event.  We take many things for granted that we would have been resistant to in the pre 9/11 America.  And our economy is in big trouble.

So many selflessly have given their lives to serve this country and to attempt to save the victims of both the attack and the response to the attack.  So many have died over this one event and the destructive ripples of it reach the whole world.

In this post, I remember, or try to think, in humility and respect, about all these victims.  Then I realize the impossibility of this.  We live in a post 9/11 world.  What would things be like if this act of terrorism had never happened?

May God bless the world and keep it from violence and hatred.  May our wounds finally be healed.  May we put the guns down, talk, and compromise.  May we not let the distrust and fear we have felt destroy us.


Tuesday, September 1, 2009

got a minute?

Ha.  Now I remember the reason why I actually started this blog, after re-reading my first post.  Far more goal directed than just writing stuff that I wanted to get off my chest.  I lost track of that somewhere, in the lines of this, or perhaps between them? (pinky to mouth like dr. evil)

My last post makes me sound like a bitch.  I don't mind so much taking discourtesy and crap from other people.  Sometimes I start to feel what seems like frustration, but then I remember that all my words for my emotions are meaningless to anyone else. (?)  Actually, I kinda get a kick out of it sometimes.  To feel my temper begin to start to rise only to have me crush it like a bug that I've crushed a million times.  It's unbelievably satisfying to defeat yourself.  

Loudmouth.  Hothead.  Smartass.

One of those guys who's never right, never wrong.

In this blog I have continually demonstrated my weaknesses - as I do by performing any action.

I think about the kind of anger and hatred a person would have to feel to be a murderer, then laugh at myself for believing myself capable of such an act.  (you talk tough then why you shakin like maracas put a gun in your hand you won't murder like b.a. barracas.)

Yet I examine my resolve and discipline.  My ability to justify.  Then I remember that I can't convince myself of anything without daily, tireless work.

I look at a pen that is sitting on my desk and laugh (inside, then after typing inside, outside) at the fact that once almost all non-primary lingual information was spread by ink on paper.  How ridiculous this is sitting in this particular position we find ourselves in now!

Sometimes it's best to put a title to something before you start it.  And read the title to yourself every day.  So that you don't lose sight of your goal.  When your goal changes the work must be thrown away.

My taped up mac with a broken disc drive cost me 1300$.