got a minute?

Ha.  Now I remember the reason why I actually started this blog, after re-reading my first post.  Far more goal directed than just writing stuff that I wanted to get off my chest.  I lost track of that somewhere, in the lines of this, or perhaps between them? (pinky to mouth like dr. evil)

My last post makes me sound like a bitch.  I don't mind so much taking discourtesy and crap from other people.  Sometimes I start to feel what seems like frustration, but then I remember that all my words for my emotions are meaningless to anyone else. (?)  Actually, I kinda get a kick out of it sometimes.  To feel my temper begin to start to rise only to have me crush it like a bug that I've crushed a million times.  It's unbelievably satisfying to defeat yourself.  

Loudmouth.  Hothead.  Smartass.

One of those guys who's never right, never wrong.

In this blog I have continually demonstrated my weaknesses - as I do by performing any action.

I think about the kind of anger and hatred a person would have to feel to be a murderer, then laugh at myself for believing myself capable of such an act.  (you talk tough then why you shakin like maracas put a gun in your hand you won't murder like b.a. barracas.)

Yet I examine my resolve and discipline.  My ability to justify.  Then I remember that I can't convince myself of anything without daily, tireless work.

I look at a pen that is sitting on my desk and laugh (inside, then after typing inside, outside) at the fact that once almost all non-primary lingual information was spread by ink on paper.  How ridiculous this is sitting in this particular position we find ourselves in now!

Sometimes it's best to put a title to something before you start it.  And read the title to yourself every day.  So that you don't lose sight of your goal.  When your goal changes the work must be thrown away.

My taped up mac with a broken disc drive cost me 1300$.