so much for anonymity

Pretty sure it's what the Net is all about. The ability to take on a moniker, an alias, a means of being known outside of what your body tells and what your history dictates. I think it even gives us hope that we can change, be someone other than who we know we are.

Through the Net, I found that. By looking so closely at the nothings that are whispered along the way on this community of solitary figures sitting at their glowing boxes I essentially reset my personality. This came at a heavy, heavy price, but I have been able to see (if not entirely recognize) the parts of me that appear immutable and the parts that were possible to erase and replace.

I listen to, and read, words too many times. Giving myself too much of a chance to project my own meanings on things drives me up the wall and back down again - believing that others feel the way I do and are trying to express exactly what I am trying to express. I still don't know if it's so. Everyone has their own perspective, but I'm not certain everyone has their own mind. Those of us who grew up in the same time, particularly, appear to have been shaped very similarly and value the same things. You can't always pursue what you value, though, if your instincts draw you elsewhere or your conscience forces you not to. I know that the conscience has a lot to do with what we value but I think they can still be at odds. Conscience and values.

I remember when I was working construction so many of the other guys warned me aggressively against getting married. This is an example of having to dismiss anecdotal evidence. Though, sadly, the empirical evidence stacks up as well. Divorce is such a ridiculously powerful reality that I'm surprised whenever I hear someone has had the drive to tie together in that way. This is a big difference with our generation compared to our parents. It was pretty much a given in the day unless you couldn't attract a "mate". I don't know. I've become convinced that when you find something (one) that you know in your gut should be close to you it is necessary to take the initiative and hold on. There are forces that separate as well as ones that attract. People fight both of them.

Which fight is more likely to end in victory?